The romantic city port of Bremen, Germany

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Sitting by the Weser riverfront, where you will find a long row of restaurants and pubs that serve good food. In the background is a smattering of both sunshine and drizzle.
Text & Photo © JE Nilsson, CM Cordeiro-Nilsson 2008

Bremen is Germany’s 2nd largest city with an old town city center dating back to around 150 AD. Most of the old red brick buildings still standing are medieval, giving the city center something of a fairytale look. Continue reading “The romantic city port of Bremen, Germany”

Visiting Charlemange and the Aachen Cathedral


A view of the Aachen Cathedral as it looks today.

Aachen Cathedral was formerly the palace church of Charles the Great, later known as Charlemagne. While he was perhaps not the only founding father of Western civilization as we know it, Charlemagne was still very important for reviving learning, moral and ethics as leading principles for government. And while the unity in post-roman Europe did not last too long, he brought with him the much needed uniting force behind it.

Upon entering the Cathedral grounds, even at small places such as the stone paved yard outside the former workshop entrance where western European arts and culture were to be revived in the eight century, you feel close to history.

Despite that the city of Aachen got most of its buildings and churches destroyed by shells and bombings during the Second World War it still gives a great impression. Much has been restored and important relics including the belt and flagellation rope of Jesus, the belt of Mary, the scull and right arm of Charlemagne himself and many others are still on display in the treasury.


A view of an altar within the Cathedral.

A favourite feature of mine within this Cathedral was the numerous large and beautiful stained glass windows. As with most other details in this Cathedral, they were made with such precision, care and astounding craftsmanship.
Continue reading “Visiting Charlemange and the Aachen Cathedral”

The Presse Bar Cuisine, Bremen, Germany

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The Presse Bar Cuisine, Bremen, Germany.
Text & Photo © JE Nilsson, CM Cordeiro-Nilsson 2008

In the neighbourhood of Altstadt, near the Town Hall and within walking distance of the river Weser, you’ll find one of the cosiest themed bar and restaurant. I actually had the impression it was a very large café, with its open counters that turned out to be an open kitchen.

Modern and somewhat memorable in their customer service – they served tea lidded with a saucer – it’s a place you can certainly spend more time in other than for dining pleasures. The interiors invite you to sit for longer, bring out your laptop, surf the web some, read and have more tea / coffee.

I’d say this place is ‘not to be missed’. But if you’re in Bremen walking around the riverfront, I’m pretty sure you’ll bump into this place in the midst of your explorations. Continue reading “The Presse Bar Cuisine, Bremen, Germany”

Ponte Vecchio, Florence, Italy

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View of the tower of Palazzo Vecchio from the riverside.
Text & Photo © JE Nilsson, CM Cordeiro-Nilsson 2008

The scene was crowded at Ponte Vecchio and it seemed that many – mostly tourists – were awed by this old bridge that has more than once been swept asunder and rebuilt, perhaps testament to a strength that never wanes. I was personally struck by how merchants and shops perched on the bridge in hues of terracotta and yellow. It was a different kind of architecture from what I was used to, and I thought this was quite beautiful. Continue reading “Ponte Vecchio, Florence, Italy”

Palazzo Ducale, Venice

Palazzo Ducale, Cheryl Marie Cordeiro-Nilsson

In Piazza San Marco, near to the Ponte dei Sospiri, you’ll find the Palazzo Ducale.
Text & Photo © JE Nilsson, CM Cordeiro-Nilsson 2008

It is difficult to navigate the streets of Venice at peak season which is the summer months, and I can more than understand the disdain and even hostility of the Venetians towards visitors who leave more than their fair share of markings on the ground as visitors. More than a million individuals walked the grounds of the Palazzo Ducale alone at about the time of this visit in 2008. Continue reading “Palazzo Ducale, Venice”

Quiet? In St. Tropez, Côte d’Azur

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St. Tropez is characterised by narrow streets that lead straight to the Riviera front.
Text & Photo © JE Nilsson, CM Cordeiro-Nilsson 2008

Located on the French Riviera, the ancient town of Saint-Tropez is as beautiful in the day as it is in the night when the coastal stretch is lit in what seems like a mellow glow of romantic amber against the velvet navy of the ocean and night sky, nothing that reminds of its intriguing and turbulent history from the time of Nero and the Roman Empire.

Having somewhat been at the cross-roads of all sorts of trade and warfare, it was here in this town that was said that France had first contact with the Japanese in September of 1615, obliged to spend the time in St. Tropez due to bad weather conditions, when the Japanese were en route to Rome. Continue reading “Quiet? In St. Tropez, Côte d’Azur”

Cross-Cultural Dating in Singapore

Regardless of how westernized the Asian societies might appear today, dating someone from a different culture is dating more than just that one person, it’s an entirely different ball game.
Model: Carol Chin. Photo © by Kevin D. Cordeiro.

In this none too scientific post, my target audience is primarily western / Scandinavian males who are going to work or are working in Singapore. Since the scientific research I have been doing over the past few years has been mostly about Scandinavian top managers working in Asia, the point of view and perspective reflected will with few exceptions come from those with whom I’ve spoken. To this, I have added my own point of view as a woman and individual who has grown up in Singapore.

The dating scene in Singapore is lively
The pubs and restaurants and the social life in general encourages all kinds of human interaction in public places at all times. You are out meeting people more often than not. Most events from having breakfast at the local kopitiam (coffee-shop) to having coffee, lunch, dinner or anything in-between is a reason to meet. Technically speaking “dating” is not a problem while eventually everything around it might be.

Singapore, an easy place to blend into
A poignant surrounding factor that can cause problems when dating a girl from an Asian society is, culture. With that, comes a host of other related issues within the web of culture such as language, tradition, beliefs, religion and – food.

A spread of traditional Nonya food by the Straits Chinese. The customs and traditions of the people are as intricate and detailed as the wrappings and presentation of the food. Picture by King’s Hotel, Singapore (Khoo, 1998:130).

The culture in Singapore as well as in most of Asia is collectivistic in that sense that families are close, tightly bound, large – in some cases amounting to clans – and run by patriarchal values supported by a large, often gossipy bunch of aunties (and almost all elderly women in Singapore are called ‘aunty’) with opinions on everything and everybody.

Yet Singapore, as Asia goes, is an easier place than most other Asian societies to blend into due to its immigrant beginnings. More or less everybody came from somewhere else just a few generations ago however, well into the 20th century marriages were arranged between suitable parties, as most Asian cultures from the Indians to the Chinese, had arranged marriages as their tradition.

Today, the Singapore society at large bothers little about cross-cultural relations and interracial marriages, being currently more concerned with its falling birth-rates since 2004 (see Washington Post and the Singapore Window). Yet local to non-local relations still make interesting topics and a couple is still looked upon, observed and commented on – even by people who hardly know you.

A total stranger, when least you want to hear things
Anyone can step-up to you and start asking very personal questions, such as the woman who serves you coffee at the local kopitiam (coffee shop). One Swede observed that he from morning to morning got lower prices on his coffee obviously to soften him up for some reason. The price on his morning kopi-o (coffee, black) ran from the ang-moh (Hokkien word to mean ‘Caucasian’) price of more than $1 SGD, down to the local friends’ price of 40 cents. Flattered by the close fren price he was still unprepared for the attack. The conversation went like:

Coffee Lady: Sir, where you from?
Swede: Sweden (*one raised eyebrow*)
Coffee Lady: You how old?
Swede: Eh? Around fifty …
Coffee Lady: You got chirrun?
Swede: Eeeh?? Yes
Coffee Lady: How many?
Swede: Eeeeeh?? .. well, two …
Coffee Lady: You here for business or wat
Swede: Yes
Coffee Lady: You got your own business
Swede: Yes, in fact I do …
Coffee Lady: You earn how much?
Swede: Ehm, well yes …
Coffee Lady: You here for gerfren (girlfriend) ah?

After the questions had been satisfactorily answered and the coffee lady had figured out whether the Swede would be in the market for a meeting with any one granddaughter, niece, daughters of friends, third cousin’s neighbor’s friend’s daughter or some other eligible young woman that was felt was lagging behind in her family career of getting married and having children and needed a push in the right direction, the coffee price eventually went right back up again to the normal solid $ 0.80 SGD.

To the utter embarrassment of the younger generation, aunties can also have no qualms about inquiring about family relations and trying to set up meetings even in the very presence of the persons in question. They will happily talk right over your head as if you were not there. If you think of this as a most well meaning tradition based on the collective nature of the Singapore society you might get used to it and react on it in the proper way, which is to give evasive answers and a friendly smile. I think of it as having its roots in a kampong (village) tradition where everybody knew and cared about everything and everybody. So eventually you will be dating the whole family whether you like – or know – it, or not.

Sarong Party Girls (SPGs)
The collectivism leads to another aspect of cross-cultural dating, its social implications. Even if social gossip may not affect a foreigner with a possible time limit to his stay, there will be a social pressure from family, friends and perhaps even total strangers that might cause problems for the local woman.

The different Singaporean sub-cultures are different in this respect about social pressure and each will have varying degrees of open-mindedness towards foreigners in the family.

Some Swedes I have interviewed for my research were well aware of the concept of SPGs. This is a loose expression for a local woman who would consider dating a foreigner in much the same way as a western girl would i.e. with no immediate plans of getting married to him as soon as possible and not even asking to be paid to do so. In Singapore the SPG label implicates questionable moral or worse, as in bad business sense on the part of the woman, in a society where arranged marriages were the norm not more than a generation ago.

First, meet her parents. Then …
Picture by Lily Khoo, from The Straits Chinese (Khoo, 1998:94):

… meet her family, whom you will also be dating whether you know it or not. As an example, this old picture shows 4 generations of a family, gathered to celebrate the 80th birthday of the family patriarch. The scenes are surprisingly similar around for example Chinese New Year up until today. (Picture: Khoo 1998:39).

So while dating a local woman is not impossible, the foreign male should remember that he is out on uncharted territory. In Asia, you are not approaching only a person but whole a culture and a mindset that is as with all values are so set as to be invisible for those who share it while to the outsider will appear suddenly and out of nowhere as a glass wall at night.

Rather than to be discouraged, there is in fact plenty to gain in dating cross-culturally. There are new ideas and perspectives to discover and share. A key to smoother relations is to begin with understanding that it isn’t just a pretty face you are meeting.

References

  • Khoo, Joo Ee, 1998. The Straits Chinese. The Pepin Press: Amsterdam, Kuala Lumpur.
  • All-American bacon and cheese burger at Chili’s, New York

    Nibbling the big apple XII

    A farewell all-American bacon and cheese burger, at Chili’s in New York, served up with a tequila mind boggler!

    It was during the 1980s that the catch phrase, “Where’s the beef?” became popular in the United States and Canada due to the television commercial for Wendy’s hamburger restaurants, by Joe Sedelmaier. Since it was first used, the phrase has also become an all-purpose phrase questioning the substance of an idea, event or product.

    Well, when in New York, we never got the chance to visit Wendy’s, but we did go into Chili’s at the airport just prior to taking off, where we had our very last all-American bacon and cheese burger.

    If Singapore has its chilli crabs and chicken rice, Sweden has its meatballs and lingon berry jam, then the United States has its beef burger – in all variations. We ate burgers for most of our meals in New York and when we deviated from the burger, we found that the meal hadn’t satisfied all that much. It was a quaint realization that the all-American beef burger, with all sorts of toppings, was my favourite meal when in New York. We even had burgers for breakfasts.

    My absolute favourite burger served is found at Michael Jordan’s The Steak House NYC, along 23 Vanderbilt Ave, New York 10017, at 44th St – Grand Central Terminal. They served up 10 oz (283 g) burgers and 14 oz (396 g) steaks that were grilled to perfection! Being a beef person, Jordan’s Steak House made it an even easier choice of a juicy beef steak over fish anyday!

    The classic burger.

    We’re not letting go of our burger experiences and here, you’ll find a favourite breakfast burger recipe that is quick to prepare and beats fast-food burgers:

    170 grams of ground sirloin beef meat mixed with some salt and black pepper.
    Slow fry in butter until as rare as you want it.
    Put on toasted hamburger bread on a bed of salad, tomato slices and a pickled cucumber.
    Add a helping of melted flavoury cheese (Gouda or Cheddar) on top of 4-5 slices of crispy fried Bacon and a pineapple slice. Add a helping of mushroom stew. Serve with deep fried potato wedges on the side and maybe a fried egg.

    Serves one.

    Coke or a cold beer on the side.

    Should keep you warm and fuzzy until lunch.

    Rockefeller Center: the Eiffel Tower of New York

    Nibbling the Big Apple XI

    Though it’s not yet Christmas, it’s all the same magical, to view the Swarovski Rockefeller Star topper that adorns the Rockefeller Christmas tree each year.

    I hadn’t expected the visit to Rockefeller Center to have been any different from the visit to the Empire State Building. But it was. For one thing, not all visitors were forced to have their pictures taken for souvenir purposes, and one could choose to by-pass all picture taking and head straight to the top.

    The weather had let up some and the skies though cloudy, were azure as the eye could see. The view from the Observation Deck of Rockefeller Plaza or the Top of the Rock, proved more beautiful than that of the Empire State Building, with a more open, less cagey design. There were friendly staff on the Observation Deck to help with your queries and take pictures for guests at a minimal fee.

    The Observation Deck, at Rockefeller Plaza.

    Wooden benches with name plaques engraved with names of those who donated the benches, were placed alongside the wall of the Observation Deck. And because it was such wonderful weather, we took the opportunity to sit, relax and simply enjoy being at Rockefeller. It wasn’t as if there were no others there, but the generous layout and space around the Observation Deck meant that one could have their privacy to take a languid unwind, as others walked by. Continue reading “Rockefeller Center: the Eiffel Tower of New York”